Today, We Made Cookies

  I had to go to the school today. Not to the school my son attends, but to the one I used to teach at. I can’t enter those doors without remembering what it was like to leave. After teaching for five years, I decided to leave my position to stay home and raise my son. Sure, there were some who were supportive. But others said things like, “What will you do at home all day?” or “I sent my kids to daycare and they are just fine. Why don’t you do that and you can still have your career?” or “Do you think it is really worth it?” Most of those teachers are still teaching there. And although no one ever says it, I still feel that they are saying the same things when they see me now four years later. I wish I could admit that being home with my children is always blissful. (But then again, I could never have said that teaching was always blissful either.) There are many days when I am overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks, like getting three children in and out of the car multiple times to run errands, or juggling schedules to make sure the baby gets his nap and we still meet our other obligations. There are days when I am lonely, very lonely. No, I am never alone, but sometimes I long for company other than children 5 and under. But do I think that it is really worth it? Absolutely! When I get to watch my children light up at a new skill they discovered they could do, or when I hear laughter from my boys playing, I know it is worth it. When I am there for the milestones of my infant, or the potty success of my toddler, I know it is worth it. Sure, someone else could take care of my children, but no one else could be their mother.

  And so when someone asks, “What will you do at home all day?” I might respond with, “Well, today we made cookies.” My 3-year-old loves to make cookies, and today, I even let him crack the egg, all by himself. His expression said it meant the world to him. “Today, I cuddled my sick baby, and held him while he cried.” “Today, I taught my 5-year-old to tie his shoes. “ He has been begging me for days. “Today, I taught my children that work is fun, as we folded the clothes and put them away.” I taught my children to manage money they had earned for allowance, and both paid a tithe (by choice, I might add). And although not every day is productive, or even always fun, in my heart of hearts I can say to those who will ask, “Do you think it is really worth it?” a resounding “YES!” Jane Clayson Johnson said in her book, I Am A Mother, “I am convinced that when you use your time now to love and teach your children, it cannot be misspent. Don’t let the voices of the world distract you in your service.”

Grateful Changed My Attitude

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and think to yourself (or sometimes say out loud) "I just can't do this day."? It seems that with the stresses of children, and all else that accompanies being a mother, there are times that it all seems to be too much. I went through a period of time recently where I had a lot of "I can't do this day" days. I hind site, I think that I allowed myself to focus on what seemed to be going wrong in my life. The more I focused on what was wrong, the more "wrong" I found to focus on. When I made a decision to turn my attitude around, I discovered a very simple way to do it. I began a gratitude journal. It was nothing fancy. In face, I just grabbed a spiral notebook I already had and began writing. I tried to look for the good in what was not-so-good. Rather than focusing on the fact that my car was old and only just big enough to hold my family, I stopped to realize that I had a working, reliable car that is paid for. Rather than be frustrated that my washing maching had stopped working, I found gratitude in the fact that I have a husband who has the skills to fix it for cheap. In my greatest moments of frustration with my children, I looked for little things to be grateful for-the silliness of a toddler, or the creativity of of my five-year-old (even when that creativity meant marker on my counter or play dough all over the floor). At the end of a long season of canning, when I was so ready to never can anything ever again, I realized how grateful I am to have the skill of canning.
Keeping this gratitude journal has helped me to turn my attitude around. I admit I still have days where I forget how blessed I am, but as soon as I catch myself in this spiral, I go to the drawer and pull out my journal and ponder how what seems to be so wrong is really, probably a blessing in disguise. So often, I believe that God sends us these blessings all packaged as challenges, trials, and frustrations. I once heard this saying, "Life is a series of amazing experiences, each disguised as impossible situations." Challenge yourself to look for the good in every situation, and begin to be grateful for things you may have first seen as a frustration.

It Takes a Village

Today seems to be one of those days where being a mom seems overwhelming. It seems that everything I need to do requires the help of someone else. The thought of getting my teeth cleaned with 2 kids in the room and an infant on my chest seems a little much, but it describes my life exactly. Runing to the grocery store with 3 kids, or immunizations for one child while the other two watch. It's the everyday things that seem so impossible. To be honest, the minute I sat down to start writing this, my 3-year-old called me from the bathroom with poo in his underwear.Ahhhhh! I have yet to figure out the balancing act. And to add to it all, Dave and I desperatly need to spend quality one on one time together, but leaving a breastfeeding infant and 2 other children with a teenage babysitter sounds, to be honest, scary.
I happened to express several of these thoughts to a friend of mine over the Christmas holiday and she had some profound words for me. "Telena," she said, "it takes a village." That was it. So simple, and yet it served as a gentle reminder of the fact that raising children is something that takes many hands. I can't do it alone (which is my tendency) and I must stop feeling guilty for asking others to help. So, when it all seems to be more than you can bear, remember, "it takes a village."

Mothers matter

We all know that mothers matter, but it is so easy to hear the voice of the world that to really make a difference, one must have a career, earn an income, and be successful in the way that the world defines success. At the end of a normal day of mothering, I often ask myself , "What did I accomplish today?" I find myself saying to my husband, "I didn't get anything done today." I usually feel this way because anything I did around the house has been undone, the meal I made has been consumed, and there is nothing to show for the time I spend playing with, clothing, feeding, reading to, and otherwise entertaining children. I know that those things are so important, but still, it is so easy to become distracted with outside endeavors. I recently found a quote that said, "Satan has found a willing partner in the world to blind us and distract us with so many other 'wordly endeavors' that we forget that motherhood is the most worthwile venture of all." -Jane Clayson Johnson
Isn't that the truth!!!