Today, We Made Cookies

  I had to go to the school today. Not to the school my son attends, but to the one I used to teach at. I can’t enter those doors without remembering what it was like to leave. After teaching for five years, I decided to leave my position to stay home and raise my son. Sure, there were some who were supportive. But others said things like, “What will you do at home all day?” or “I sent my kids to daycare and they are just fine. Why don’t you do that and you can still have your career?” or “Do you think it is really worth it?” Most of those teachers are still teaching there. And although no one ever says it, I still feel that they are saying the same things when they see me now four years later. I wish I could admit that being home with my children is always blissful. (But then again, I could never have said that teaching was always blissful either.) There are many days when I am overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks, like getting three children in and out of the car multiple times to run errands, or juggling schedules to make sure the baby gets his nap and we still meet our other obligations. There are days when I am lonely, very lonely. No, I am never alone, but sometimes I long for company other than children 5 and under. But do I think that it is really worth it? Absolutely! When I get to watch my children light up at a new skill they discovered they could do, or when I hear laughter from my boys playing, I know it is worth it. When I am there for the milestones of my infant, or the potty success of my toddler, I know it is worth it. Sure, someone else could take care of my children, but no one else could be their mother.

  And so when someone asks, “What will you do at home all day?” I might respond with, “Well, today we made cookies.” My 3-year-old loves to make cookies, and today, I even let him crack the egg, all by himself. His expression said it meant the world to him. “Today, I cuddled my sick baby, and held him while he cried.” “Today, I taught my 5-year-old to tie his shoes. “ He has been begging me for days. “Today, I taught my children that work is fun, as we folded the clothes and put them away.” I taught my children to manage money they had earned for allowance, and both paid a tithe (by choice, I might add). And although not every day is productive, or even always fun, in my heart of hearts I can say to those who will ask, “Do you think it is really worth it?” a resounding “YES!” Jane Clayson Johnson said in her book, I Am A Mother, “I am convinced that when you use your time now to love and teach your children, it cannot be misspent. Don’t let the voices of the world distract you in your service.”