Envy

I have a very dear friend who has struggled for many years to have a baby.  Although this has not been a trial I have experienced myself, I have hurt with her as she has endured many years of infertility.  I know that she has wanted to have the family that I have been blessed to have.  What she may not realize it that I too have been envious of her situation.  Not that I have wanted to struggle with infertility, but rather, that I would have liked to enjoy many of the vacations, elaborate dates, and childless evenings, that come from not having a family.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, and I love my boys.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But when I watch her and her wonderful hubby head out on a cruise, or see them take leisurely walks in the evening together, I can't help but long for that time with Dave.  Instead, we get a simple date away from our kids once or twice a month, we spend our vacation money on diapers, and we both work hard to support and raise our young family. 
It's funny how "the grass [always seems] greener on the other side."  This friend recently was finally able to become pregnant with her first little one.  She has finally achieved what she has longed for for so long.  And, now, she is SO sick.  This "motherhood" experience suddenly seems less than as "fun" as she had imagined.  And I'm sure that when this little one is born in a few weeks, and the sickness goes away, the sleepless nights and endless fatigue begin, she may again wonder what all the hype about having a baby was about.  Her life will change forever. 
Having a family does change your life forever.  And there are definitely times when it is HARD!  But it is worth it.  And although there are times that I long for a little time alone, or a chance to work on my own pursuits, or a wonderful vacation away, or (heaven forbid) eating a meal without having to get up once, I know that raising these little ones is so worth it.  I'm sure I'll reach that point of "quiet nights" or "fancy vacations" sooner than I realize, as my kids seem to be growing up so fast.  And, I won't be surprised when my friend, then at a place that I am now, will envy my situation.  I guess it just goes to show, the grass isn't really greener on the other side, it is just of a different variety.  We each need to enjoy the stages of life that we are in as every stage has it's joys and challenges.
So for now, I'm putting on my happy face, and going out to buy some diapers. :)