Tuesday, September 6, 2011

They're Off!

School's back in!  I can't believe how grown up they are getting! 
 Chad is in 1st grade this year.  Wow!  That sounds unbelievable even as I write it.  This will be the first year that someone else has influence over him for more of the day than I do.  Every day.  This morning, he headed for the bus.  As we stepped outside, he said that he thought he might want a jacket.  My initial thought was "No, you're going to be late.  You'll be fine."  But, I didn't say what I thought.  After hum-hawing for a few seconds, I ran back in and got his jacket.  It would have been such a silly thing to argue about.  He had walked to the corner by the time I had gotten back out.  I handed him the jacket and he immediately started running.  I didn't know it but he must have seen that the bus was already there.  He ran the whole 200 yards or so to the bus stop.  I don't know how to describe what goes through a mother's mind as she watches her child.  I just kept thinking, "please don't fall" and then to the bus driver (as though he could read my mind) "please don't leave him"  and I couldn't help but wonder what Chad was thinking.  Was he mad that he was late? Was he worried he'd be teased?  Or left?  Did he wonder how I'd react if he missed the bus?  He made it.  He never even looked back.  But there is something about how independent he seemed to me this morning.  It felt like he was trying to say to me, "Mom, I'm growing up." 

This backpack was SO heavy!  He could hardly
 stand with it on. 


 Tyler started preschool this year.  Since it is at his own home and I am the teacher, it probably doesn't feel quite the same.  My biggest worry was whether he'd share all of "his" things or not.  He did pretty well.   I remember when Chad started preschool, I thought he looked so tiny the first day I dropped him off.  Funny thing, I can't help but think Tyler is so grown-up now that he is in preschool. 

We went to the park today after lunch.  I actually had a totally open schedule and I thought, "why not?"  I have not always been the best at taking opportunities like that.  When Chad was little, I was working.  And up until recently, I've worked pretty full time from home.  It is hard when your work is in your home to ever "turn off the switch".  If I ever had an open schedule, I could always work.  I am trying so much harder to savor these moments when my kids are little.  Pushing Greyson on the swing, I couldn't help but smile and laugh with his little giggles.  And Tyler wanted me to push him higher and higher.  We went down the slides and tried out the merry-go-round.  And the stars in their eyes told me that those moments mattered to them.  

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