Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Stages of Motherhood

I seem to be surrounded by mothers who have come to the end of their child bearing years.  These are women whom I admire.  Whom I have shared pregenancies (and miscarriages) with.  Women who I feel I can relate to and share my joys and struggles of motherhood with.  But these women, many of whom started their families before I did, are done having babies.  Their families are complete. 

Mine is not.

For a while now, I have had a feeling of envy toward these other mothers.  I have envied the completion of this stage in their lives.  I have wanted to be able to cross off my list, "have a family."  I'd love to begin discarding the endless birrage of children's "stuff" that has accumilated over the years.  It would feel so nice to know I never had to gain 30 lbs. and then try to loose is all over again.  I envy the beginning of independence that is creaping back into the lives of these women. 

Then, just yesterday, I read this post.  This young mother of five kids, including two sets of twins (all in just 4 years), shares her feelings on the fact that for her, the baby stage is ending.  It's slipping away.  She shares how she wishes she could freeze time, and hold her babies longer. 

I couldn't help but be grateful for the chance I will have to bring more babies into this world, to hold and to snuggle those tiny bundles.  I know I often wish it away-all the work and the tantrums and the worry.  I have said so many times that I wish I was done having babies.  That I could feel an end to this stage of my life.  That I could look forward to the independance of older children.  And then I hear from every mother who is where I am not yet, a caution to enjoy it now because it will be gone before I know it.

They are so right!  My oldest just finished Kindergarten.  I feel like he just started!  I do realize that he will be grown before I know it.  They all will.  The last 12 months has been a blur of events, beginning with Greyson's birth, on to David's graduation, his new job, Chad starting school, then finishing school, and here we are. 

I don't hold my children as often as I should, and I certainly don't appreciate every moment.  But I must, before they are gone. 
How do you enjoy each day of the journey, and cherish your children before they are grown?  On the especially difficult days, what do you do to keep from wishing it away? 


  1. I LOVE this post Telena! I am also trying to do more to "Enjoy the Journey". I think my quitting work was the first step. I also try to write down the things they say and do so that I can go back and remember it. When I had Lacey I remembering just holding her more and letting her sleep in my arms, just because I could. :)

  2. Emily, that's so true! When we have our first, we sleep them in their crib because that's what the books say to do to train them to sleep through the night. But by our third, we hold them in our arm to sleep just because we can and because we know how quickly the time goes. Who cares what the books say!


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